Changes + A New Recruit!

Just a short post to say that all the changes to this blog are because it’s finally going to be in use again! I have another candidate for my assistance dog, a lovely chocolate lab called Charlie who is 2 years old; he lives in the same close as me and his owner has given me free reign to train him to help me and then work with me out and about, giving me a degree of independence. We’ve barely known each other a week but the situation looks hopeful right now; Charlie is a bit hyper but very eager to please and learn, and he knows some things already! I’m looking forward to more adventures with him and I hope this will work out as him working with me in the end.

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The Nights are Long, but Life is Longer Still

So, Toby is gone. Here is the long, depressing and emotional post from that week. Just read the first paragraph; there’s no need to read all the rest if you just want to know about the Terrier. I may or may not keep this page and extend it to an ‘all-dog’ page, about my adventures with all dogs I cross paths with. But, for now, it’s done. Thanks for reading our adventures.

strugglingbutstillfighting

The taste never left me, and I don’t think it will
And it caused me to supplement whiskey with pills
But there was something inside that I couldn’t kill
Believe me, I really did try

Some say you get what you deserve, but they’re wrong
Sometimes you get what you’re given, and then it’s all gone
And you are lucky if you are sufficiently strong
To daily decide not to die

– The Sun’s Coming Over the Hill, Karine Polwart

http://karinepolwart.bandcamp.com/album/faultlines

I’m sick of this and I’m done with it. Best go back to the start then. As far start as last time I wrote here. I have the medicine, of course. Taking it every morning in secret, and it’s hurting me like hell. I don’t have a dog any more. He left last Saterday night, after I had one last cuddle. It hurt and it hurt to let him…

View original post 1,441 more words

Adventures + Maybe not all is hopeless!

So sorry for not updating when I am meant to!! I did mean to, but this past week has been a bit hard and crazy and stuff, the bottom line being my mother apparently can’t deal with Toby while I’m away at college for the day for half a week; so, we immediately reached the decision that he was going to have to go. There’s adverts up but no responses yet, and so I thought that there was no point carrying on his blog and that. But, this morning, when I finally came downstairs, mum was veeery thoughtful, and she told me that Toby hadn’t been snapping or nipping at all this morning. Now that’s progress. She had let him have a run in the garden too, burning off that terrier energy. So, well, I decided I may as well update this blog to cover our last week and as kind of a warning – yes, he may well be going soon, but, well, maaaaaybe ALL is not hopeless, from the interesting and thoughtful tone of my mother’s voice when she said that this morning… he is getting better at this stuff. And he still loves me. So there’s no promises, but perhaps there’s a glimmer of hope there.

So, our adventures in the past week. Well, like previously stated, I am full time at college Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays. So I have little intel of how those days go (apart from Tuesday, which is the day I came home to “can’t cope and have to rehome”… still holding out on more news for that one). However, when I am with him I stay (mostly) with him. Well, last Thursday and Friday I stayed in most of the day with him, just going out to walk Milly, the chocolate lab that I walk. That was pretty uneventful. On Saterday, I can’t actually remember what happened, whoops. But I think we did some stuff out, without him, and I stayed in a lot with him too. We’re still doing training – we’ve got sit, down and stay on point now! Stand we’re still working on, because he doesn’t quit get that one yet. We’re also doing some work on ‘off’ and ‘take it’ for food in my hand. Recall is mostly good, apart from when there’s too many distractions. He is a smart pup and eager to please – or maybe just for the food. Either way, he is learning and we’re enjoying the training together. I do get cross with him, but that’s a given, and I just leave if he’s too mouthy or crazy. Yes, so on Sunday the family left for the ENTIRE DAY and so Toby and I had a rest day, just chilling and cuddles and playing and training. It was good, if a tad boring, but I’m not really the stay in ALL day type. Just as well I have a dog who won’t be either, when he can go out.

This week was a little different, because I had a bad college day on Monday, so Toby comforted me when I got home, and then on Tuesday I came home to the bad news, so had cuddles again. Wednesday, I went to college pretty late and came home pretty early, so was barely away from him. He’s so pleased to see me all the time, it’s the best. Ah yes – Wednesday was puppy class! My previously mentioned friend came with me again, which is very helpful by the way. I probably wouldn’t go on my own. This time, class was AMAZING. Literally. Toby was VEEERY confident – TOO confident. Yep, he went ahead and started mounting all the bitches in the class. Uh. This is not my fault! It’s actually, I’ve discovered, my little brother’s doing; he has been trying to sit on Toby to ‘ride’ him, and, um, apparently the pup has picked this up and mixed it with male hormones to induce himself to start mounting the females. And sometimes the dogs. Aaaaand then some furniture or legs. Seems like we have a bit of a problem there. But it’s easily solvable, even if not for a few months. Yeah so he was extremely confident – which made me feel more confident! It was a good class. There were lots more little dogs, which was good for Toby (and for mounting them…) and everyone was nice, as well as the familiar faces from last week, which calmed me.

On Thursday, my friend came to my house so I was out for most of the day. She’s kind of taken the role of my service dog at the moment, which is very helpful and means I can go out and about and enjoy myself. We came back a while after lunch so I could feed Toby, and then we went out again to walk Milly. My friend left for her home and I headed to mine and Toby. I gave him his dinner and cooked some for everyone else, then we had cuddles until everyone came home. There were too many people then, so I wanted to leave, but I didn’t – I stayed and protected Toby be holding him. Then I had to go to piano lesson, so when I came back Toby was sleepy again and he went to sleep on me and for the night in his bed. Friday, I went out with my friend again so it was kinda the same for Toby – went back to see him for lunch, then after Milly’s walk. But last night he went really kind of crazy. Trying to bite me arms and even jumping for my face. I enforced my dominance by making him sit, down and stay for me while I held the food, and he did that fine, but was still crazy. So I put his lead on and went out and literally just stood there and watched him run around and around and around, burning off the terrier energy. Then when we finally went back in, I gave him my shoe to chew on, and played tug a bit. At long last, he settled down and went to sleep on me, and I put him in his bed.

Well that’s our adventures. His future with me is unclear at the moment, but – despite being a general hopeless person – I can’t help but hope that we can keep him. It would be amazing. Hard, yes, but amazing. In just 3 weeks he’s made such an impact, and now I even have hope for something. A little longer and I may even have the will to fight for it. But, unfortunately, it does seem pretty hopeless. Well… here’s to a bright future for Toby, at least, whether with me or someone else. He deserve that. And here are a lot of photos from the past week…

 hanging out together

 trip to grandma’s house

 playing with my little brother in the garden

 car journeys

 puppy class and pet shop walk

 being there for me

 look how tall he’s gotten!

 lounge photography

 garden photography

cuddles

 and, finally… this, if he stays with me, will be his first vest. He looked so smart. I can dream still….

References:

Milly’s blog, again, for her adventures with me (told by Milly herself!) – https://www.facebook.com/millychocolatelab

Toby’s state of craziness last night – https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=909735752371113&set=a.439738676037492.107081.100000040903714&type=1&theater

My Twitter for some more pictures – https://twitter.com/k_lizzabeth

Thursday’s adventure with my friend – http://strugglingbutstillfighting.tumblr.com/post/100758585761/so-today-was-a-good-day-distant-cheering-from

Puppy classes & enrichment

So today we attended our first puppy class! I went with my friend, who I had invited over for the evening. She loves dogs but currently can’t see hers, so I thought I’d share my experiences with her. The puppy class was good – for us! Toby was, quite frankly, terrified. But when a tiny terrier puppy is suddenly carried into a pet shop and plonked down in a caged-in area with a puppy husky, dog-de-bordeaux and a labrador cross spaniel, the cards quickly turned. And so he spent most of the hour crawling around trying to get out people’s laps and edging further into the walls than he could, completely terrified. Oh, what a difference it was from the crazy pup running around the lounge carpet, gnawing on hands and socks and clothes, to one who cowered from the other dogs at class. Pretty astounding really, the difference. I had his harness on because he’s got to learn to get used to it, as hopefully he’ll be wearing vests and harnesses in his sooner years. It was almost amusing to watch, but then I got anxious and it got embarrassing and yeah I got wound up and worried and stuff and no way would I have been able to deal with it alone. That’s why I had invited my friend over to accompany me. So that was puppy class. Eventually, near the end of the session, he did manage to walk out a little and pretended to play a bit with the husky – who was called Storm – and tried to catch her tail. Archie, the lab/spaniel, was absolutely adorable and he also very friendly – only the other dog, Gunner, excelled his licking and cuddles! They were all adorable and I couldn’t help wishing for a bigger dog, especially when Toby was so scared. But still, I love him, and I think he still loves me, even after his pack leader sent him into so many threats without much protection. I want to be a good pack leader, but I don’t want a wimpy or soon aggressive dog. As a service dog he will have to pass the Canine Good Citizen test and a Public Access Test in order to achieve SD behaviour. So I’m hoping that a few classes in he will become more confident, stop growling, and maybe get some playing done. Hopefully. Hm. However, as a naturally unhopeful person, I don’t know if this will happen. As a terrier, maybe it’s just not in him to play nice. I don’t know, and no one can really know. As an old saying goes; “only time will tell”. So that’s what we’re going to have to do.

After puppy class, we actually took a short walk through the pet shop, and looked at some toys that I really want to get him. A Kong, first of all. It’s, like, the best toy a dog could have, apparently. Then we briefly showed Toby the rabbits and such, just to see if they put a spring in his step. They didn’t, which IS good, but not so much normal terrier behaviour. However I have already introduced him to Delilah, my hamster, so maybe he was already familiar with the smell. It would be good if he is. After that he almost fell asleep on me in the car, and when we got back he soon had a nap. When he woke up, he did go toilet on the paper! Yay for Toby! He’s doing okay. We showed a bit of obedience to my friend before she got picked up and she gave me some helpful hints and tips. The enrichment bit actually comes before the puppy class bit – before dinner, I put some of his dry food in a washed and dry coke bottle. I have seen this done before and it seems cool, so I did it. And Toby loved it! Which was good, but I am also afraid that this isn’t a proper toy, so maybe I shouldn’t have done it. Anyway, hopefully more toys will be heading his way soon. Training is also good, for an 8 week old puppy – we’ve got sit, down and stay for a short amount of time. He is adorable, and I do love him. That’s the important bit.

Puppy class at the pet shop. Our instructor was really nice & so were all the other people and dogs. Soon though I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to appreciate it. It wasn’t the best situation for me to be in, but I DID do it, which is good I suppose.

This is mr cowering in a corner, just by my legs. He sought refuge wherever he can and mostly he got it, which isn’t good. But he was adorably cute.

Short pet shop walk after class before mum picked us up. I really should of got some toys but he can deal without them for a little longer.

Cuddles, strokes & naps at home. Exhausted puppy wants to sleep after his exhausting and scary ordeal. Fine by me – we both need bed time now.

Pictures & a short proper progress paragraph (PPP)

Lots going on at the moment, but not much to tell about Toby individually. We continue to work on training, toilet training, biting, growling and new situations. Seems like it’s going well – at least, I damn well hope so. I take him out after naps & sometimes after eating, and he goes toilet outside. If we’re inside, he usually goes on the paper. He’s picking it up quickly, but there is still the odd mistake, of course. Training – he gets come, sit, down and stay, most of the time. I’m using his daily allowance of dry food as ‘treats’ and I think he’s beginning to realise that he gets that same stuff for meals which he doesn’t have to do more than sit for. Outrageous! Luckily he’s still responding, mostly, to commands. He’ll not come if he’s found something more interesting, however, which is most of the time when not in the kitchen/dining room – a different environment. Hopefully we’ll get it. It’ll be lovely to see the day where I let him off in the fields where I run Milly and call him and he comes back. However I am doing no letting off at all until his recall is practically PERFECT – this is what this awesome and amusing puppy training book has told me. It’s quite funny to read and very educational in training. It’s called SIRUIS Dog Training. American but still very good (as many American things – Supernatural, for one, and all those other damn awesome films from that damn annoying yet awesome America that we hear so much about…). Anyway, so training hopefully is going well. Puppy training classes start tomorrow!! This is great because I really want to get Toby out and about and introduced to situations and other dogs ASAP in order to desensitise him to the world as much as possible while he’s still young and eagerly learning. We are, admittedly, still having biting problems, and growling, but he does seem to (fingers crossed) be getting better, and I’ll ask about it tomorrow in class. In more seriousness, there’s still pretty major problems in the family, mostly due to the dog, but it’s not his fault. ANYWAY, he is still lovely and I’m already making (rather rash) plans for Service Dog tasks and clothing. Not believing that it’s going to happen, but looking forward to it anyway. For now, he’s a puppy and an adorable one at that. And so here’s some photos of our getting up-to.

Comparing paw/foot. I’m,uh, much bigger than him. And,well, always will be…

My Toby boy

This awesome book that I have found – SIRIUS dog training

Asleep on my lap yesterday after college – first day we have been away from each other

Apparently this is a comfortable sleeping position??

Playing

Toby may well take over his blog soon…

References:

Website to said book – https://www.siriuspup.com/

My relation to Supernatural – http://strugglingbutstillfighting.tumblr.com/supernaturaltagpage

Milly in said fields – https://www.facebook.com/millychocolatelab/posts/528547077275772

Picture Post of Toby-day (today)

Stuff happened today, so I don’t really want to write, at risk of not keeping an ‘upbeat’ blog. So here’s just a picture log of today’s adventures.

morning cuddles

lunch & watching a puppy nap

Our first walk! Literally 5 minutes around the close we live in. He was good & a little scared.

Puppy sitting & watching Wall-e (again) while trying to do piano work

Puppy naps on my lap

Doing piano work with a sleeping puppy on me

Puppy face

Toy gnawing. Better than my hand.

I also had naps with him today.

Full story of today; why I’m so ‘tired’ (warning: it’s much darker than the things on here): http://strugglingbutstillfighting.wordpress.com/2014/10/12/youre-aching-youre-breaking-and-i-can-see-the-pain-in-your-eyes/

Twitter posts: https://twitter.com/k_lizzabeth/status/521400576870191108 + https://twitter.com/k_lizzabeth/status/521398690716872705

Some writing and pictures of Today

Ugh, I’m tired tonight, so this’ll be a short and picture post.

(not this short though; here’s some more words coming)

So, it’s been a exciting day! Pretty much, anyway. We broke more rules by going in my mum’s work – a pharmacy – and showing her colleagues the pup, and they were smitten… as is everyone who sees him. Can’t blame them. They don’t have lots of bite marks on their hands. But can’t complain too much – we are making progress (distant cheering for Toby is heard from Carys at Uni). He’s gone toilet on the paper and outside a couple of times when I took him today. And we’re working on gentler biting, using something that Katie And Cookie, a couple of therapy dogs from Twitter, linked me to – something called Bite Inhibition. It looks really good, so we’re learning that. Also, we went to the pet shop after mum’s work, and Toby had his first vaccination, as well as a check over and we were given flea treatment for him. The vet, Alex by name, was very nice and I loved watching her work – because this is my dream; a Veterinary Nurse. So yes, he was good on the exam table apart from BITING. So, while mum signed forms and did adult stuff, I went and found some toys for him. Nylabones! Recommended from Growing Up Guide Pup itself. So there we are, driving home with dry food to start on, Nylabone toys and a vaccination certificate. What fun. Back home, mum and the boys went out to Crealy to use up our free 7 day pass, seeing as they may as well. While they were away, I cleaned up while Toby slept, then when he woke from his nap he and I chilled in the living room with films on. First it was Wall-e, then Monster’s University, and then I put the Lego Movie on. We didn’t just sit and watch these, of course; they were just on in the background to listen to. Did watch most of Wall-e though, because that is the best. Toby chewed on his nylabones, chewed on me, got some scolding, did some good toilets and some not on the newspaper, and had some naps either with me or on his own. Puppies can be a handful. I made dinner for the others for when they came back and then sat on the floor and chilled with Toby. Tonight I showed mum the things I have been doing with him, and we showed off the obedience we’ve already got – which is coming when called (most of the time), and ‘sit’! He’s learnt quickly. We’re working on ‘down’ now, but that’s proving harder. Right, it’s bedtime now, both for the pup sleeping under my feet again, and for my yawning self. Shower and a bed, me thinks… hopefully I’ll get up early and see to my babe. He’s still gorgeous.

Car journeys

At the Vets!

Watching Wall-e and playing and naps on my lap

So tiring being a puppy…

References:

The conversation I and the Therapy Dogs had on Twitter: https://twitter.com/KatieAndCookie/status/520899546969550848

The site they showed me: http://www.thelabradorsite.com/teaching-bite-inhibition-to-your-labrador-puppy/

Toby showing off ‘come’ and ‘sit’: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=902853403059348